Hurdles......
hmmmm......great day with many hours of sleep comes to an end with a start to this blog...i was just rushing through my memories of the past couple of weeks. Out of all some still hit hard on my face. My project work, where i did none to say honestly but gettin some comments as though i reached somewhere none can reach, but that was right by some means, becoz none cud be so lazy n worse at the work like me....the name i gained, bad n rarely good...and a small gift from my department, i doubt whether im worth of that even now, anyway am proud to get that. Then jumping onto the project lane, where im the last with very few jus ahead me and others i could not even trace their trails, too far ahead...

Where does all these lead me....last minute preparation for my project or is it my attitude or the hat(e)itude towards it, the interest to my project, or those words from few people whom i worth, still echoing in me, my capability, my credibility...??? But being one among some great giants(my friends) who stuff themself with excellent work and hardwork for their project, i still cant find out what still is holding me back...even before thinking what is holding me back... i started doubting whether am i being held back or is that is my fullest potential of doing things??? God knows (i must know that, dont mind)
My fame in my department or among anyone(if at all) is all a MAGIC with NO LOGIC!!!
Damn...cuming out of that thing comes another to hit me...im trying to dodge it, but im not becoz of some serious friction which i had created but not intentionally between my frenz. That too many resulting in contradictory actions of my frenz n mines but still...i regret the fact that i commit those kinds of mistakes just becoz of the thing im an eXtrovert, too outspoken n frank n most importantly Friendly(i suppoz??) With all the flaws within me, i could not stop myself from thinking, y people change themself to situation suddenly jus becoz to add spice to that moment and y just dont they stick up to what they r actually???

next thing is my anger and emotions. I should always thank God that he has always given me excellent friends. They were kind enough to tolerate that and still move with me. I am happy about that and i thank almighty for giving me such good n cute friends from school mates(praveen, parthi, ranga, yogi, gans, narsiman, veeru, balaji....), higher sec(chandru grp), and in college...Hope u dont mind me in giving a very few names whom i bothered a lot but they r incubated with world of patience because they still dont leave me behind and they fight for their life and also for mines too...of many, Santosh, Sandeep, Ganesh, Himachu, Amith, Karthick, Santa(great singer and a few couple of my seniors and one puckish junior Vassaanth, all filled every moment of my bus life with fun. Coming to college life, Santosh(Microsoft & infonautix partner, the new company that will emerge soon) & Sandeep( ___ partner, ooops I meant Polaris) even played a major by being a part of me myself and Sandhya, the first ray of closeness & affection i ever felt and had, then saranya, a special gift; arul, Mr Dhanush(log offaaa, dont mind,he cant be described with mere permutation n combination of this 26 letters), Usha a bit in the begining, kavitha(great eater), vino and many more some left here cant be explained by mere words like gopi(two diff years of exp), barath, VJ(daddy), uday, raj, murali(instant juggler of words n hard to become like him, instant laughter creator), aravind(ece) and Ashok(who spen most time with me in the later part), ambeth(does things differently by the words of some legend),balakrishnan(extra ordinary hard worker), bhaskar, satish, alladi( oops vinoth),roopi,aarvam(sorry gkjkk karthi), Dk and many to add….(soon will create another blog only with my friends name, but even that may roll down to reels)

I thank once again for this wonderful gift (I presume something and go by that and misunderstand people, but all were always supportive for me and never they let me down). Hmmmm droping back to my thoughts, my anger n emotions let me go down by miles.
The amount of sadness people had when something strange on the negative side happened to me and the amount of happiness that glit their face when those strange things get rewarded are awesome and viewing them as a 3rd person is too good and i sometimes feel jealous of myself.

But I still feel that im lost in thoughts or i lost my track!!!!

Hoping that i soon get out of this nightmare and get back on track along with this real world!!!!

Future ahead is infinite and with full of unknown mechanism waiting for us to reveal those. The most important thing in this world is our every word, thought and deed which lays up a store for us. Bad works are ready to spring upon like hydra headed monster on us and good works are ready to protect us with the power of many hundred thousands angels.

I might have ended this probably the way it should have not been, but afterall these words just reflected my thoughts and no grudge or something else...

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You are the creator of your own destinY
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When is my ReVieW???
There comes the cool fresh air from the entrance cooler of the 3*** Hotel, Radha Park Inn. With buzzing environment in later eve of the big Wednesday, with many fighting hard to enter the small entrance as fast as they can to search for their respective halls,some to greet their friends, some to greet their loved ones on thier day of birth or to greet them on that special occasion for what everyone have gathered there. The whole lobby is vibrating with wishes for Birthday, and some still finding hard to identify their set of people and many running here n there to get some accessories like their forgotten battery for their camera and some even their camera itself. Amidst this commotion, three students found a place to enter the big hall. marchin 2wards the reception which was almost diff 2 trace as they were begginin 2 get buried among the crowd tht encircled them, those three landed safely n told the receptionist that there presence here is about fixing up an hall for their Get2gether.The three were forwarded to another officer and so the rest went on formally n casually querying about the availability of halls on some dates n rates and menus etc....Similar way some two other hotels near by to the first one was visited and checked for the details...Time has come for the three students to break apart to leave to their houses. Out of the three, first one is tall, big n manly nearly 6.2 ft, the second one is bit more short than the first one who has spent more time in the recent past with me, and the third is none other than "me".

Finally the clock ticked for 10 and bidding farewell to both for that night, i came back home at a sail's pace which i rarely do. Lost in thought in the arrangement for the get2gether function i forgot about the project review that is expected to happen for the first time to my batch(ahem.... my batch consists of only one team member n that is me). Suddenly a spark which ignited the thought about the review upsetted me, because the preparation for the second review is only half way through which i should have finished by this time.The thought of my review flushed away all other thoughts and made me to sit before my computer and start working on it. Due to heavy work my eyes n body could not get themseleves synchronised with my mind. But hastily trying hard to do something for that review as searching, browsing and all sorts to prepare some write ups for the tomorws review. In the mean time, Mr Moon has travelled his journey for the day leaving way for his partner to take over for the rest of the day. In my dreams i had everything except my review, so that night went without an alarm being raised for long hours. Then atlast, i cud hear my mother yellin at me asking me to get ready for college. Fighting hard to open my eyes to see the bright light, but i was not able to see anything except a big question mark, where i could see myself hunging down seeking for some rescue out of this heavy burden on my head....jus brushing my teeth and my brains and bring back my conscious into the stream of reality i could remember somethin hittin my brains hard and hardear...My stomach started lurching even before i could recognise what was that burden doing all such magic with no logic....Fine refreshing myself getting back to sense of right n wrong, was hurryin to have a bath(kaaka kuliyal) and into my fullest form according to the ethics of my college....formal pants on with shirt tugged in and shoes worn and running hard with
a dirty hair style to catch the bus, which i miss everyday by an edge...Placing myself hastily on the back seat,started brushing up the happenings of past couple of days and suddenly got a spark which reminded me about my review....ooooppppssss, there is a panel which has some 4-5 chairs placed for the dignitaries to come, shooting their queestions at and increasing pace at my project, before even i could sense the first question,the second will be shot and the third will be ready to slip out of their mouths any moment...With a big shaking of my head, came my conscience back to reality,where i could hear the horn sounds, accelerating vehicles at the last moment of the signal befor it puts up with RED....Rushing through the pages of the book which i had mostly relied on for my project...suddenly felt an alarm by which i could see a bulding with ivory n red colors and ofcourse that happened to be my college...Slowly descending the bus, climbing the stair case at even more slwer pace, sat before the same monitor and was trying wat to prepare for that review....

Atlast got an idea of writing some meaning to some programmatical jargons used in my project as the report for my review...and with some diagram made ready, waiting n hoping for my turn to present somethin more than nuthin abt my project...The time went as such evry hour went like a minute...but all were happeneing except my review...waited till 4.30 expecting i might be called some moment by my Head, who happened to be my internal guide..but i wasnt...time clicked the 4'o clock alarm and was moving bt slower after that, suddenly i was called and even my friend who is in another batch was called...With a bright face stood up and thought it was my turn to present, waled down to my head and me and my friend was asked to leav the hall as we need not show our review... Our faces turned red, but we could do nuthin except to leav the hall and the next moment off we were. With a heavy heart left the hall without a single experience of wat review is all about personally, when it happened for all twice...

Hoping atleast i would learn that experience in my final exam...

Unsolved Mysteries

From dawn to dusk the whole world seems to make me dizzy in thier own way.Hmm..all of them seem to kindle varied emotions in me.the moment i look at the sparkling faces of parents on seeing their new borns step into this world delights me; when i meet people greet their loved ones on special occasions makes me feel the warmth of relationship; whenever new laws are being enacted i feel that i am a part of the system that is quickly changin all the laws to fit the current world; TV’s broad(ly) casting the latest inhuman happenings all over the globe; records being broken here, there n everywhere; crying kids at the entrance of the school hesitating to get in the campus; some expecting the arrival of their loved ones; many hurrying to their office to pile up their n their bosses work; wheels of vehicles trying to take more turns than it normally does, birds chirping, blazing sun trying to leave its work place earlier, new inventions n discoveries and many more...... With all new invention in physics, life sciences n not to leave Computers there r still some underlying things which are a part of our day to day activity but yet to reveal. Apple has been falling on the ground for years, but it was Newton who raised a question of WHY? which led to the evolution of Gravitational theory. Some electronic gadgets(mainly CELL PHONES) which were named only for a few, until this Karlo Duniya Mutti Mein flashed on the screens of media, after which, those mentioned gadgets are found rarely missing in the hands of people. though all these things makes me to get puzzled , there is something else tht seems to be an unsolved mystery (representing the community of like-minded people like me), something which is left unexplained.
My doubt actually is...

What is the power of any teacher??

How does they have more power than instant sleeping pills have??

How do most teachers posses these?

Hmmm everyone must have guessed by now the purpose of these questions n this blog ofcourse!!! There are some teachers who take even the geeks of the class to day dreams. is it the vulnerability of the students or the credibility of the teachers?. To me, noise from the class is directly proportional to the credit of teachers, coz atleast the teacher has managed 2 keep the students awake, whereas a silent class can only mean the silent sleep of the students.

Is the mistake is on the teacher or the post given to them as teacher??

Anyway keep thinking about this and also do pray for me as my internal assessment has started and i need to prepare for those from the scrap.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Going back 2 [s]cool days.....
There goes the four...winning shot from Irfan Pathan and takin India to victory. Young chap SK.Raina played a key role by hittin 81*(89b) led india to victory on a dead pitch on which ball never comes onto the bat, and where all other major batsmen failed, SK Raina played the winning role when India was on a crucial state 92/5. Sk Raina along with the Dhamaka master MS Dhoni took india onto a 2-0 lead over England with SK Raina declared the Man of the match for an outstanding performance. With that the highlights of the previous day match got over in that channel...with many thoughts scrappin my memory about the present indian team, where some one is ready to stand up n deliver that innings for the victory n not really relying on one particular hand either to do with the bat or with the ball and where is the bengal tiger crouchin...how can one take him out from the team....

Later hastily placin myself onto the chair facin the only device which many times does wat i say and sometimes does what i dusnt say...Switchin on both the monitor and the main power of my computer, i was starin the monitor for it to get loaded and atlast all the loading process finally got over with a roarin sound indicating the boot up.

Then was on my way to write a blog regarding "Where we go" which was the tentaive topic given to that blog, and that went for some time. Sometime later when the blog was ready with the write up, yet to do somethin with the formattin, suddenly the screen went blank, fans started to slow down without a notice and all other electrical equipment went silent as if they were sleeping suddenly...then realised that current went off and hurriedly turning back to my monitor and realising that a great effort in writing that blog which every human being needs to think off abt their presence is gone.there sank a heart for its work being lost without being published...Current came but there is noway that those powerful letters can be brought back...with a heavy heart, the distance between the two lids starts to decrease and off to sleep.

With many distinct n new dreams where im playin a part in that, someone lifted me high above the world of imaginations and brought me back to this small world of reality.Then i realised it was none other than my conscience. Then got a reminder in my mind that i need to pick my mother from school by 7pm. Today is the day of convocation for the UKG(upper kinder garden) kids, where my mother stood as a class teacher for one band of kids. With all these things in my mind i was driving on my bike all the way to her school which incidentally is my school too(where i did my Higher education). Parkin my bike on the gap available, placed my foot on the gates of my school.

There came a heavy breeze took everythin inside me leavin nuthin else except the traces of my school days happenings. With these things happening i was moving unknowingly, passin the security guard and now standin near the god Vinayak. I became a spectator of mine, since all these r happening by its own, as though my body n mind has been taken over by some automatic control. Sliding through the croud, reached the real big chunk of kids wearing Yellow gown with a Hat and a certificate in their hands, proudly walkin, dancing and some sittin idle by the orders of their class teachers. where does all these innocence go. By lookin at all these, this creates a sense of hatred towards TIME, which has made evryone to grow old, lose their innocence n childishness n the age where one doesnt know what is ego, jealous, hatred, vengeance,distrust etc. Walkin with that certificate after achieving many milestones leaving loads of happiness on each of their parents n class teachers face. Why is gettin faded as years roll over. TiMe teaches u knowledge, but do we have to learn that knowledge, some by pledging their innocence and some by selling out the innocence. Is this knowledge is gained to become more sensitive, short tempered, selfish, jealous, to develop hatred among us, tryin to push all other for one to come up....Is it so neccessary to lose all these jus for knowledge, but can we do to that, nuthin can be done because, THIS IS THE WAY OF LIFE and all we need to do is that travel on that way as smoothly n safely as v can.

School is the only place where we laugh only when we are happy and we cry only when we r sad. Competition is the key there for the success. All sittin together, stealin n eatin others lunch durin intervals and eatin theirs durin the correct luch time, sharin is the other major thing in school life. Sharing is the unspelled MANTRA, from sharing ur food to sharing ur smiles n tears happens full heartedly only in school days. u love n hate someone for no big reasons and roaming in gangs is other major spectacle in schools. Bunking classes, Canteens becoming class rooms r things which dusnt happens in schools that easily but there are a few who does all these with utmost ease. Functions celeberated and fancy stories floatin all over the surface of the school, expectin the clouds to overwhelm the school with its water and what not...crowds becoming lesser as the number of stars starts to increase in its bluish black house...Roamin in this darkness with someone following me, who sometimes comes to my left and sometimes to my right placing his feet on the same place where i place mines. With silence prevailing in external world and still those thoughts lingering in my mind, as how years slided over without sayin even a word. Seasons of nature does come back after some gap but seasons of life like schools do come back only in dreams...thinkin of this, lemme to get back to my (s)cool days and forget this heavy world atleast for some hours till im pushed back into this world of preachin n no practising....
Let peace prevail evry where and lets pray for it, let atleast the cumin generation enjoy the best out of what ever they have with no stabbing others for one's benefit....

Signing of from the world of reality... and ... Signing on to the world of dreamzzz
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bye c u all there innocently [;-)....